It was an ad in the real-estate section.
For sale by owner.
Five bedroom, three bathroom house.
Family and dining rooms, all new appliances.
Three-car garage and large back yard.
Owners motivated to sell.
Fifty thousand pints of blood or best offer.
Well, why not?
Isn't that how we do it?
Dracula must cry
at all the blood ruined by dirt
and because of it.
I can see that some places
might be worth fighting over.
Niagara falls might be worth a few thousand pints.
I might donate a couple of pints myself
for the Grand Canyon.
But why is it
that some deserts
are worth baptizing?
I've seen sand.
When you've seen one dune
you've seen them all.
Cactus isn't that pretty a plant
and I wouldn't take a bus for a camel.
And why is it
that the real-estate they fight over
in Ulster
has the charm of the Bronx?
And Bosnia.
Jesus, Bosnia.
I've seen pictures.
What's left to fight over
isn't worth fighting over.
There is something insane about
variable interest rates
figured in hemoglobin.
So let's play Klaatu.
I'll be Gort.
Solomon would like this, too.
It's a rule from now on.
If you can't play with your toys nicely
You just can't have them.
You fight over land
You spill blood there
You say it's so holy you'll kill for it.
We say:
You have a week.
Get the family pictures
Fill up the pick-up.
Don't forget the dog.
Cause it won't be there after Sunday.
You fight over it,
we'll make it glow in the dark.
You'd better have snapshots
Cause it won't be there Monday.
These things are so simple
if we're serious about ending it.
But if it doesn't happen
Then maybe
just maybe
It isn't about land
But about what we do
for fun?
February 6, 1995
The following article appeared in Out of
Step Vol. 4, No. 6, June 23, 1995.
Political Apologies
Gun Club to Gun Rights Author:
Letter to President Reagan on Gun Amnesty